Premarital & Precommitment
You’ve chosen each other, you’ve decided to start the next chapter together, and you’re ready to build something intentional.
You’re building, you're not in crisis. You might even be in the best stretch of your relationship. And that's exactly when this work is most powerful.
You might be here because:
You're engaged or planning a wedding, and you want the foundation to be as strong as the celebration.
You're choosing commitment without marriage, moving in together, blending families, making long-term plans, and you want to do it with intention.
You've watched other couples struggle, and you don't want to repeat those patterns. You want to be the couple who got ahead of it.
You come from different backgrounds, different families, cultures, or communication styles, and you want to understand each other's worlds before those differences become friction.
You're navigating the shift from "me" to "we," and you want to figure out how to build a shared life without losing yourselves in the process.
Why I use Imago for precommitment work
As a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, I believe the Imago framework is uniquely suited for couples at this stage, because it was built for exactly this question: Why did I choose this person, and what are we here to teach each other?
Imago starts from the idea that we're unconsciously drawn to partners who mirror our early attachment experiences. That's not a problem, it's an opportunity. The qualities that attracted you to each other are connected to the growth each of you needs to do. When you understand that, conflict stops being threatening and starts being informative.
This isn't premarital counseling with a checklist. What there IS is a practice in which you learn to truly listen to each other. To validate their experience, even when it's different from yours. To build empathy, not just agreement.
It's a skill you'll use for the rest of your lives. And now is the best possible time to learn it.
What we’ll work on together.
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What matters most to each of you? Where are you aligned, and where will you need to negotiate?
Every couple has assumptions and expectations they haven't examined. About money. About family. About careers and ambitions. About household labor. About how you make decisions together. We’ll examine these together, with curiosity and openness.
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You’re not just partnering with each other. You’re partnering with each other’s histories. We’ll look at the family systems you each grew up in, the spoken and unspoken messages, and the early lessons that are running in the background of your relationship right now, whether you know it or not.
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What does each of you need to feel close? How do you talk about desire, boundaries, and evolving needs, whether they’re physical, emotional, or creative? How do you build a shared life while maintaining autonomy and healthy interdependence? We'll create the space to have the conversations many couples don’t even know they should be having.
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Every couple has a conflict style. One of you might pursue while the other withdraws. One might escalate while the other shuts down. These patterns aren't random, they're learned. We'll identify yours, understand where they come from, and build new ways to navigate the hard moments or to reconnect when the hard moments create ruptures.